Matt Gaetz RESIGNS From Congress, Effective Immediately

You know what would be hilarious? If, after Trump named Matt Gaetz as his Attorney General pick, Gaetz “put the cart before the horse,” quit his job, and then didn’t get confirmed anyway. If watching an E.D. medication-snorting underage sex trafficker who likes to show videos of his exploits to his friends completely mess up his entire life sounds appealing to you, buckle up — because Matt Gaetz just resigned from Congress, effective immediately.

“I think, out of deference to us, he issued his resignation letter effective immediately, of Congress,” says January 6 plotter and Speaker of the House Mike Johnson. “That caught us by surprise a little bit, but I asked him what the reasoning was and he said, well, you can’t have too many absences, so under Florida state law there’s about an eight-week period to select and fill a vacant seat.”

It’s probably good that he’s getting out while he can. Gaetz is extremely unlikely to be confirmed, as he narrowly dodged criminal charges for sex trafficking a teenager and is in the middle of a House ethics investigation for….sex trafficking a teenager multiple witnesses confirm he took to a cocaine fueled sex party, among other things. Gaetz probably doesn’t want to be around when that investigation closes. Unfortunately for him, his decision to quit as soon as Trump announced Gaetz as the next Attorney General was probably not the best one. He still needs to be confirmed, and no amount of sycophancy will make enough Republicans back Trump’s plan to elevate him to a position of that importance.

Republicans may be forced to do something they have thus far been unwilling to do — defy their glorious leader Donald John Trump.